STRESSED OUT

People when faced with awkward situations, usually react differently than when faced with pleasant ones. They become stressed, and their level of stress heightens the more the situation escalates. Also, their level of stress depends on their approach towards the situation. How much we can control ourselves differs from one person to another.

But what if you were the one dealing with a person under stress??!! What would you do??

In my opinion, the key to deal with someone under stress is to ask yourself , what do you demand of people when you are the one under stress?? The answer to that is almost the same with almost every one. When we're angry or facing a stressful situation, all we demand is someone to listen. Someone to vent our frustrations with. Someone to empathize with us , rather than criticize us. Someone who doesn't take our reactions personally. So if a stressed person has to be dealt with, keep his needs for the moment in mind, and never take whatever reaction he shows personally.

To be more specific on how people react under stress, let's go back to the main communication styles we've talked about in the previous post. The creator, listener, thinker and doer. How would they behave when angry or stressed??

It's probably not news that a creator/collaborator is a people's man. Socially hyper-active, likes attention and thrives on interaction. But when creators are under stress, they tend to become aggressive. Use of emphatic language and raising their voice to the extent of yelling are the main characteristics of their aggression. Saying "Calm down" will only make it worse. But they usually subside quickly once they vent their frustration, and usually put the incident behind them. Therefore, don't take their anger personally. Empathize with them and give them the time to vent their anger. After all, they will come to their senses once it's all over. Avoid criticizing them at all costs.

But when it comes to the listeners/contributers, stress or anger are repressed. Though they make the ultimate peacemakers, but they are slow to forgive and forget. Under stress they become consenters and they show their objections briefly through their body language. All their needs at the time is their turn in talking instead of listening.

However, thinkers/inquisitors become avoiders mostly because they're the ones with logic and valid reasons from their point of view. They avoid emotional reactions towards their stress, and if the situation escalates, they avoid it physically by removing themselves from the situation. If so, they need time to reflect and think, so don't intervene immediately.

Finally, we come to the doers/directors. They normally want to feel in control. When stressed, they seek more control and power, which causes the ultimate frustration to others. Controllers lose their ability to think straight. Their reactions radically changes due to their stress. Be there, and provide them with a proper plan to get things done quickly and effectively.

The bottom line is to try to go beneath the surface. Understanding the emotions behind their reactions. It'll make it much easier for you to adapt to their style under stress.