People when faced with awkward situations, usually react differently than when faced with pleasant ones. They become stressed, and their level of stress heightens the more the situation escalates. Also, their level of stress depends on their approach towards the situation. How much we can control ourselves differs from one person to another.
But what if you were the one dealing with a person under stress??!! What would you do??
In my opinion, the key to deal with someone under stress is to ask yourself , what do you demand of people when you are the one under stress?? The answer to that is almost the same with almost every one. When we're angry or facing a stressful situation, all we demand is someone to listen. Someone to vent our frustrations with. Someone to empathize with us , rather than criticize us. Someone who doesn't take our reactions personally. So if a stressed person has to be dealt with, keep his needs for the moment in mind, and never take whatever reaction he shows personally.
To be more specific on how people react under stress, let's go back to the main communication styles we've talked about in the previous post. The creator, listener, thinker and doer. How would they behave when angry or stressed??
It's probably not news that a creator/collaborator is a people's man. Socially hyper-active, likes attention and thrives on interaction. But when creators are under stress, they tend to become aggressive. Use of emphatic language and raising their voice to the extent of yelling are the main characteristics of their aggression. Saying "Calm down" will only make it worse. But they usually subside quickly once they vent their frustration, and usually put the incident behind them. Therefore, don't take their anger personally. Empathize with them and give them the time to vent their anger. After all, they will come to their senses once it's all over. Avoid criticizing them at all costs.
But when it comes to the listeners/contributers, stress or anger are repressed. Though they make the ultimate peacemakers, but they are slow to forgive and forget. Under stress they become consenters and they show their objections briefly through their body language. All their needs at the time is their turn in talking instead of listening.
However, thinkers/inquisitors become avoiders mostly because they're the ones with logic and valid reasons from their point of view. They avoid emotional reactions towards their stress, and if the situation escalates, they avoid it physically by removing themselves from the situation. If so, they need time to reflect and think, so don't intervene immediately.
Finally, we come to the doers/directors. They normally want to feel in control. When stressed, they seek more control and power, which causes the ultimate frustration to others. Controllers lose their ability to think straight. Their reactions radically changes due to their stress. Be there, and provide them with a proper plan to get things done quickly and effectively.
The bottom line is to try to go beneath the surface. Understanding the emotions behind their reactions. It'll make it much easier for you to adapt to their style under stress.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
WHO WE ARE (Understanding Communication Styles)
Every person has some distinctive characteristics that form his/her own style. Your way of living, dressing and expressing yourself can be elements that contribute to your style. Most of all, the way you communicate with others socially is considered your "Communication Style".
Every one of us has a dominant communication style. Knowing your dominant communication style and that of the others can help you interact effectively with each other, let alone minimizing your chances of having a communication conflict.
In order to determine your communication style, answer these seven simple questions.
Your answers will help you determine your communication style, and that of the others:
1. At a large social gathering, you are most likely to ...:
a. interact with many different people, strangers included.
b. talk one-on-one mostly with people you already know.
c. leave as soon as it is polite to do so.
d. use the opportunity to make important contacts.
2. If you were famous in your field, which career would most suit you?
a. Movie star
b. Humanitarian
c. Inventor
d. Head of a company
3. Of these four personality traits, you consider your strongest to be ...:
a. Imagination
b. Compassion
c. Persistence
d. Assertiveness
4. If you suddenly have some spare time on a weekend, what you usually most WANT to do is ...:
a. ...contact several friends and see if there is something fun going on.
b. ...have some quality time with one or a just a few people.
c. ...focus your energy on one specific hobby or project.
d. ...get a number of important things done on your TO DO list.
5. When the phone rings you,...:
a. ...answer it immediately and talk at length.
b. ...look forward to the call, but wait a few rings before answering.
c. ...deal with whoever it is quickly and efficiently.
d. ...hope someone else will answer it.
6. Which genre of fiction do you prefer??:
a. Comedy or family movies
b. Feel-good story or romance
c. Mystery, psychological thriller or science fiction
d. Epic, historical or action
7. If a conflict arises between a friend and I, my first reaction is to ...:
a. ...make sure the relationship doesn't get damaged.
b. ...find a compromise, where we both get at least part of what we want.
c. ...avoid that person for a while.
d. ...make sure they understand my position on things.
If your answers are mostly A's, your dominant communication style is a "Creator" (also known as collaborator).
If your answers are mostly B's, your dominant communication style is a "Listener" (also known as contributor).
If your answers are mostly C's, your dominant communication style is a "Thinker" (also known as inquisitor).
If your answers are mostly D's, your dominant communication style is a "Doer" (also known as director).
What does it mean????
To understand more about your communication style and those of others, skim through the description details below.
Creator
Characteristics:
- Friendly and open
- Rarely follow a logical path
- High-energy levels
- Enthusiastic
- Excellent storytellers
- Viewed as visionaries
- Like attention
Challenges:
- Often expect chit-chat even in a workplace
- Skip from task to task
- Impulsive
Can be in conflict with … THINKERS
Word of Advice :)
Talk less, work more. Try to be less intense and more logical.
Listener
Characteristics:
- Socially oriented, but prefer small groups or one-on-one conversations
- Open to new ideas and opinions
- Masters at compromising
- Peacemakers
- Excellent listener
Challenges:
- Sometimes indecisive
- Repress their anger
- Vent their frustration to a third party
- Can be slow decision makers
Can be in conflict with … DOERS
Word of Advice :)
Try to be more assertive. Focus less on relationships and more on tasks. Learn to make observations based on facts, not subjective judgments.
Thinker
Characteristics:
- Logic and reason are their top priorities
- Have high standards
- Don't speak in emotional terms
- Pay great attention to details
- Like predictability
- Analytical
Challenges:
- Prefer to work alone
- Can be viewed as critical of themselves and others
- Can be overly serious
- Low risk-takers
Can be in conflict with … CREATORS
Word of Advice :)
Try to move faster, show less need for endless detail, be more open to new ideas and people.
Doer
Characteristics:
- Task oriented
- Take immediate action
- Decisive
- Pragmatic
- Express support through action
- Competitive and Competent
Challenges:
- Can be frustrating and intimidating
- Show little empathy
- Can be domineering
- Poor listeners
Can be in conflict with … LISTENERS
Word of Advice :) Slow down. Count to ten before responding. Learn to listen more. Work at showing empathy and be more patient.
But what happens when these styles fall into a big hole of pressure???
To answer that question wait for our next post ….
Enjoy,
MIA
For more on the quiz visit
http://ezinearticles.com/?Communication-Style-Quiz&id=97457
http://www.asme.org/Jobs/Manage/Whats_Communication_Style.cfm
Every one of us has a dominant communication style. Knowing your dominant communication style and that of the others can help you interact effectively with each other, let alone minimizing your chances of having a communication conflict.
In order to determine your communication style, answer these seven simple questions.
Your answers will help you determine your communication style, and that of the others:
1. At a large social gathering, you are most likely to ...:
a. interact with many different people, strangers included.
b. talk one-on-one mostly with people you already know.
c. leave as soon as it is polite to do so.
d. use the opportunity to make important contacts.
2. If you were famous in your field, which career would most suit you?
a. Movie star
b. Humanitarian
c. Inventor
d. Head of a company
3. Of these four personality traits, you consider your strongest to be ...:
a. Imagination
b. Compassion
c. Persistence
d. Assertiveness
4. If you suddenly have some spare time on a weekend, what you usually most WANT to do is ...:
a. ...contact several friends and see if there is something fun going on.
b. ...have some quality time with one or a just a few people.
c. ...focus your energy on one specific hobby or project.
d. ...get a number of important things done on your TO DO list.
5. When the phone rings you,...:
a. ...answer it immediately and talk at length.
b. ...look forward to the call, but wait a few rings before answering.
c. ...deal with whoever it is quickly and efficiently.
d. ...hope someone else will answer it.
6. Which genre of fiction do you prefer??:
a. Comedy or family movies
b. Feel-good story or romance
c. Mystery, psychological thriller or science fiction
d. Epic, historical or action
7. If a conflict arises between a friend and I, my first reaction is to ...:
a. ...make sure the relationship doesn't get damaged.
b. ...find a compromise, where we both get at least part of what we want.
c. ...avoid that person for a while.
d. ...make sure they understand my position on things.
If your answers are mostly A's, your dominant communication style is a "Creator" (also known as collaborator).
If your answers are mostly B's, your dominant communication style is a "Listener" (also known as contributor).
If your answers are mostly C's, your dominant communication style is a "Thinker" (also known as inquisitor).
If your answers are mostly D's, your dominant communication style is a "Doer" (also known as director).
What does it mean????
To understand more about your communication style and those of others, skim through the description details below.
Creator
Characteristics:
- Friendly and open
- Rarely follow a logical path
- High-energy levels
- Enthusiastic
- Excellent storytellers
- Viewed as visionaries
- Like attention
Challenges:
- Often expect chit-chat even in a workplace
- Skip from task to task
- Impulsive
Can be in conflict with … THINKERS
Word of Advice :)
Talk less, work more. Try to be less intense and more logical.
Listener
Characteristics:
- Socially oriented, but prefer small groups or one-on-one conversations
- Open to new ideas and opinions
- Masters at compromising
- Peacemakers
- Excellent listener
Challenges:
- Sometimes indecisive
- Repress their anger
- Vent their frustration to a third party
- Can be slow decision makers
Can be in conflict with … DOERS
Word of Advice :)
Try to be more assertive. Focus less on relationships and more on tasks. Learn to make observations based on facts, not subjective judgments.
Thinker
Characteristics:
- Logic and reason are their top priorities
- Have high standards
- Don't speak in emotional terms
- Pay great attention to details
- Like predictability
- Analytical
Challenges:
- Prefer to work alone
- Can be viewed as critical of themselves and others
- Can be overly serious
- Low risk-takers
Can be in conflict with … CREATORS
Word of Advice :)
Try to move faster, show less need for endless detail, be more open to new ideas and people.
Doer
Characteristics:
- Task oriented
- Take immediate action
- Decisive
- Pragmatic
- Express support through action
- Competitive and Competent
Challenges:
- Can be frustrating and intimidating
- Show little empathy
- Can be domineering
- Poor listeners
Can be in conflict with … LISTENERS
Word of Advice :) Slow down. Count to ten before responding. Learn to listen more. Work at showing empathy and be more patient.
But what happens when these styles fall into a big hole of pressure???
To answer that question wait for our next post ….
Enjoy,
MIA
For more on the quiz visit
http://ezinearticles.com/?Communication-Style-Quiz&id=97457
http://www.asme.org/Jobs/Manage/Whats_Communication_Style.cfm
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Making Sense (The Communication Model)
Let's say that a friend of yours was in a meeting while you were supposed to watch an important football match. In his/her break time, he/she sends you an SMS that says "What's the score?". You reply by sending him/her the score "0/0". Basically, what happened here is that the message(information) your friend wrote on his/her mobile phone as simple text , has been encoded through his/her network operator. The network operator has sent the message(information) to your mobile phone. Finally, the message has been decoded and appeared on your mobile phone screen as the simple text your friend has initially sent. The same operation worked once again when you sent him/her the reply (feedback). And as all sort of communication methods this operation goes on and on, in a more sophisticated manner. However, if one or more parties involved in the communication process goes broken, the communication between you simply fails.
All sorts of communication work the same way. It might seem more like a digital process that works with electronic devices only. But no. That's the way our brains work too. For our brains are considered the most sophisticated device of communication. Moreover, our brains have the abilities to communicate with less effort and in considerably less time, so that the message communicated can be processed, sent and received in a fraction of a second. What we have here is what is called "The Communication Model".
The communication model is defined as "Who says what to whom ?? ". Therefore, the main parties involved here are the sender, receiver and the message communicated. Other contributing factors to the communication process are the environment in which the communication takes place(medium/media), the effect in which the message is delivered and the elements of influence that can affect the process. Knowing these factors, and letting them work for your advantage can always lead to better outcomes.
So, in order to communicate effectively with someone, there are questions that you have to answer first:
- Who are you?, Who is he/she? (Communication styles)
- What is the message?
- How to communicate the message? (Verbal/Nonverbal)
Once you have the answer for these questions, you are more likely to get your message delivered with the desired effect. By time, the questions and answers will run in the background of your brain while your interactions are proceeding.
For more on the topic, follow our upcoming posts.
Enjoy Blogging with us,
MIA
All sorts of communication work the same way. It might seem more like a digital process that works with electronic devices only. But no. That's the way our brains work too. For our brains are considered the most sophisticated device of communication. Moreover, our brains have the abilities to communicate with less effort and in considerably less time, so that the message communicated can be processed, sent and received in a fraction of a second. What we have here is what is called "The Communication Model".
The communication model is defined as "Who says what to whom ?? ". Therefore, the main parties involved here are the sender, receiver and the message communicated. Other contributing factors to the communication process are the environment in which the communication takes place(medium/media), the effect in which the message is delivered and the elements of influence that can affect the process. Knowing these factors, and letting them work for your advantage can always lead to better outcomes.
So, in order to communicate effectively with someone, there are questions that you have to answer first:
- Who are you?, Who is he/she? (Communication styles)
- What is the message?
- How to communicate the message? (Verbal/Nonverbal)
Once you have the answer for these questions, you are more likely to get your message delivered with the desired effect. By time, the questions and answers will run in the background of your brain while your interactions are proceeding.
For more on the topic, follow our upcoming posts.
Enjoy Blogging with us,
MIA
Friday, January 21, 2011
Introduction
Getting through our daily lives, we face many challenges on a social level. We form our relationships, and shape our interactions by what is known for us as the commonsense. Through our culture, our families or what we've learned by experience through trial and error we try to make the best out of what we're dealing with, however, it doesn't guarantee us the outcome we hope for. But what if there's more to it??? What if there're skills that can improve our interactions and relationships and lead us to better outcomes??? These skills vary in range from proven science to personal intuition. Once known (and perseveringly practiced) it alters the way you act and react towards many situations.
Through this blog, we'll discuss a wide range of topics that is related to our daily lives. Feel free to post your comments, share our posts, rate them and recommend topics for discussion. I'll be following through on daily basis.
Love and Respect,
MIA
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